The other issue is that the end is also somewhat not as clean as it could be. This I felt in two main points: 1) Uther's letter was rambling (unlikely for a king of Uther's stature, who has had so much time to mull over those feelings); 2) the letter IS your final shot, and you diminish its impact, and the clever two-fold revelation (to Merlin) of its content, and its writer by having Uther orally acknowledge and repeat the message: do you think Merlin is not shaken enough by the letter as it is? do you think Uther does not realize this?
I feel you can write a better letter that doesn't read as though you were trying to see how many times you could use "on your head"... more seriously, it is my opinion that someone learned would be much more terse (because as a ruler, communication---precise and clear---is crucial). And I also think improving the letter would make for a stronger ending.
As would having Uther leave silently when Merlin discovers his hand writing. There are a couple reasons to do this.
For the reason I have already stated, that it is redundant: it dilutes the impact of the content of the letter by spreading it on two occasions (the letter + Uther's oral warning) and it makes no sense for Uther to believe he would even have to do that, because Merlin looks very visibly shaken and Uther knew full well that this is the reaction he would provoke when placing that letter on Merlin's pillow---it is, actually, the intended reaction.
Next, Uther cannot, with his own rules, acknowledge a magic user. By addressing Merlin, he makes "puts himself out there". That is the whole point of writing a letter, instead of having a private discussion. He shows Merlin is handwriting so Merlin *knows*, in his heart, that it was written by Uther, almost surely, but with that little bit of doubt that absolves Uther and allows him to deny everything.
You could argue that the whole point is that at the end of the fic, Uther has come full circle, and that he isn't denying Merlin's magic anymore. And that is true, I agree. But the written rules of the kingdom remain, and as the highest upholder (and creator) of these rules, Uther cannot even break them in front of one subject--- especially not a law as fundamental as the law against magic.
Finally, there is a point of detail. I have generally been pissed off by how the show keeps depicting Merlin as "an idiot", but I understand that is part of the banter between Arthur & Merlin (though it has come back with a little bit too big of a vengeance ever since season 2). But this has nothing to do with that.
When at the end Uther concludes that Merlin is an "idiot", I thought that was an extremely unlikely reaction. That an incredibly powerful, intelligent sorcerer is white as a sheet when he discovers the king knows about him suggests Merlin's heart is incredibly pure, not that he is an idiot. It means that despite the fact that he is becoming aware slowly of the extent of his power (completely vanquishing Nimueh, who you yourself depict as a very powerful sorceress), it does not even occur to him to use it in his defense, or to make Uther forget everything. Merlin is not smug, he's not angry, he's not pensive, he's scared because his innocence and loyalty forbid him to realize that he actually has the upper hand.
As someone who has been fascinated, obsessed by magic and its corrupting influence, I would think that Uther would probably be *the* person most susceptible to notice, and respect this complete humility---instead of deriding as stupidity. The reaction you depicted seemed to me to be extremely unlikely, and out of the character that you helped build.
(For those who remember the season 1 episode where Uther asks Merlin "do you have a mental affliction?", well, that was in the context of Merlin having to act as an idiot to cover for Arthur...)
Anyway, I felt like such a captivating read deserved some (hopefully) constructive criticism, but you are of course entitled to disregard it all completely. Thank you very much, it was quite nice to find a long-chapter every night or so for the past four days... This was very nice, and well articulated.
Great fic; a few comments about the end (2/2).
The other issue is that the end is also somewhat not as clean as it could be. This I felt in two main points:
1) Uther's letter was rambling (unlikely for a king of Uther's stature, who has had so much time to mull over those feelings);
2) the letter IS your final shot, and you diminish its impact, and the clever two-fold revelation (to Merlin) of its content, and its writer by having Uther orally acknowledge and repeat the message: do you think Merlin is not shaken enough by the letter as it is? do you think Uther does not realize this?
I feel you can write a better letter that doesn't read as though you were trying to see how many times you could use "on your head"... more seriously, it is my opinion that someone learned would be much more terse (because as a ruler, communication---precise and clear---is crucial). And I also think improving the letter would make for a stronger ending.
As would having Uther leave silently when Merlin discovers his hand writing. There are a couple reasons to do this.
For the reason I have already stated, that it is redundant: it dilutes the impact of the content of the letter by spreading it on two occasions (the letter + Uther's oral warning) and it makes no sense for Uther to believe he would even have to do that, because Merlin looks very visibly shaken and Uther knew full well that this is the reaction he would provoke when placing that letter on Merlin's pillow---it is, actually, the intended reaction.
Next, Uther cannot, with his own rules, acknowledge a magic user. By addressing Merlin, he makes "puts himself out there". That is the whole point of writing a letter, instead of having a private discussion. He shows Merlin is handwriting so Merlin *knows*, in his heart, that it was written by Uther, almost surely, but with that little bit of doubt that absolves Uther and allows him to deny everything.
You could argue that the whole point is that at the end of the fic, Uther has come full circle, and that he isn't denying Merlin's magic anymore. And that is true, I agree. But the written rules of the kingdom remain, and as the highest upholder (and creator) of these rules, Uther cannot even break them in front of one subject--- especially not a law as fundamental as the law against magic.
Finally, there is a point of detail. I have generally been pissed off by how the show keeps depicting Merlin as "an idiot", but I understand that is part of the banter between Arthur & Merlin (though it has come back with a little bit too big of a vengeance ever since season 2). But this has nothing to do with that.
When at the end Uther concludes that Merlin is an "idiot", I thought that was an extremely unlikely reaction. That an incredibly powerful, intelligent sorcerer is white as a sheet when he discovers the king knows about him suggests Merlin's heart is incredibly pure, not that he is an idiot. It means that despite the fact that he is becoming aware slowly of the extent of his power (completely vanquishing Nimueh, who you yourself depict as a very powerful sorceress), it does not even occur to him to use it in his defense, or to make Uther forget everything. Merlin is not smug, he's not angry, he's not pensive, he's scared because his innocence and loyalty forbid him to realize that he actually has the upper hand.
As someone who has been fascinated, obsessed by magic and its corrupting influence, I would think that Uther would probably be *the* person most susceptible to notice, and respect this complete humility---instead of deriding as stupidity. The reaction you depicted seemed to me to be extremely unlikely, and out of the character that you helped build.
(For those who remember the season 1 episode where Uther asks Merlin "do you have a mental affliction?", well, that was in the context of Merlin having to act as an idiot to cover for Arthur...)
Anyway, I felt like such a captivating read deserved some (hopefully) constructive criticism, but you are of course entitled to disregard it all completely. Thank you very much, it was quite nice to find a long-chapter every night or so for the past four days... This was very nice, and well articulated.